Dear Pastor

I am 63. My male friend is 69 and will be 70 in June. We have been friends for a long time. Since his wife died a year ago, we become lovers.

This man loves to have sex and is very strong. I asked him if he cannot allow a week to past without having sex and he said no. We do not live together but he spends most of his evening at my house.

favourite girls

His wife was sick, so I asked him how he used to manage when she couldn't have sex with him. He said he used to buy it on the street, but he always used a condom and the girls knew him. He had his favourite girls. One of them had his number but he changed it when we became lovers.

I would like to settle down with this man and go to church and live a decent life but, the man is not interested in going to church. He doesn't intend to get married again. I have never been married. He said if I want to go to church, he wouldn't stop me.

Pastor, I cannot go to church and serve God without him because he will always want to have sex with me. I don't want to lose him. Since we became lovers, it has been the best life I have been living. When I was young, I didn't have luck with men.

O.H., St Andrew

Dear O.H.,

I wouldn't comment on the life this man lived before both of you became lovers. The past is behind him. You have your story too. That is also in the past.

What are you to do now with this relationship? This is the best man you have been with and the "best life" you have lived.

This man has made you happy but he is not willing to do two things, namely marry you and attend church. As I see it, you can go to church without him and serve your Lord without him.

Remember, everyone will have to give an account of himself/herself to God. You can hope and pray that one day this man may decide to marry you.

Pastor