I am a regular reader of your column and I am seeking your advice. I am 45 years old and my woman is 40. We were friends for three years before I moved in with her. It is eight months now that I rented out my apartment and moved in with her and I am helping her to pay her mortgage.

Pastor, I greatly regret moving into this woman's house. She has only been pretending that she loves me. I found out that she is cheating on me. She lost her job and she said she is trying to get another one. I am paying all the bills, and it doesn't bother me because I have a good job. What is bothering me is her cheating.

When I am gone to work, other men are going to the house, and she is having sex with them.

The first time I realised that she was cheating is when I went into one of the bathrooms and saw a used condom in the toilet bowl. It seems to me that her man did not flush it, or she didn't flush it, or she forgot. When I asked her about it, she didn't know what to say. Until this day, she can't tell me how the used condom got into the toilet bowl.

She has a day's worker who does cleaning and washing, and I became her friend so as to find out if anyone comes to the house when I am not there. She told me that a respectable gentleman who drives a big car comes to see her sometimes, and they lock up in the room.

Please, Pastor, tell me what to do. I want to leave this woman, but I want back the money I gave to her to pay her mortgage.

P.S.,

Dear P.S.,

You need to end the relationship with this woman immediately. But I wouldn't suggest that you ask her to give you back the money you have spent. Is either this woman is bad, or she feels that the money you give to her is not enough to meet her financial obligations. You are taking care of the mortgage and you are probably putting food on the table, but evidently she needs more than you can afford.

Therefore, I suggest that you walk away from this relationship and, even if she cries blood, don't go back.

Pastor