Dear Pastor,

I need your help. I am 24, but I feel like 50. I live with my boyfriend. He is 34. He is really good to me.

He was working at a hardware store and, while he was packing cement, he fell and broke his hand. That was three years ago. Five months after he broke his hand, his boss fired him while he was on sick leave. He took the case to a lawyer and the lawyer is stalling like he doesn't care about the case. Once he told the judge that my boyfriend was ill, when he was not.

I have never gone to court with him, but he goes with his father. The judge said that the case should have been finished a long time ago. And that was in December. He said that they should go to mediation in January, and the day of the mediation his boss had a heart attack. Things are not going so well. We don't have much and it is getting harder. He wants me to have a child for him, but I don't want to have a child and I can't find anything to feed him or her.

I used to watch my mother cry because she did not have it to feed us. I sometimes feel that this world is too messed up. I lost my family when I was young. My father gave my mother AIDS, and my sisters and I had to move up and down. I miss my mother. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

My boyfriend tries to help. He is a wonderful person. He is not working now, but he tries. He owns a small business, but he borrowed the money to start it, so all we make has to go back into loan sometimes. When we don't make much, we don't have much to eat, and that is why I don't want to have a child now. The hospital he went to did not set his hand properly. Now, they say that they will have to break his hand to set it.

Please, I am waiting for you to tell me what to do.

Crying Girlfriend,

Dear Crying Girlfriend,

I regret hearing that your boyfriend is suffering as a result of an injury to his hand. He is also unfortunate that his former boss had a heart attack and was not able to participate in the mediation. However, I am happy that your boyfriend is trying to support himself by running a little business.

Both of you may not be happy with the lawyer, but I would like to encourage you to continue with the lawyer. Sometimes matters like these take a long time, and it may even appear that the lawyer is not doing anything. But that does not mean that the lawyer is not working on the matter. So, please don't condemn or criticise the lawyer. When you want information, contact him/her and be patient.

I hope that your boyfriend would understand that both of you are not ready for a child. You have suffered much, and you have very good reasons why you ought to be careful.

Pastor