A jus di blessings to all a mi Tambareen Fambily an mi Mix Up an Blenda massive. Mix up str8! A dat wi say! Awright, pree da mix-up ya:

Eediat Wife

Big up uself Raga n continue wid d good work. Me seh Raga me ave a piece a mix-up fi u. U ave dis half-dead giraffe-looking boy weh work a one paint place. Raga d boy neva did ave nutin enuh, an no gal neva did a look fi im way. Im an im family dem live inna one small two-bedroom house wid bout 10-11 a dem, lol.So him meet a ugly tuff big-foot gal weh fava man. Raga d gal tun im inna sumbodi, because im was nobody. D boy an him fren demeva a boast seh d gal fly out regular, an Raga d gal neva yet look gud.Im fren dem luv d wife becauz every day she buy up bare KFC, Pizza and liquior fi dem, plus dem luv drive up n dung n pose up inna har car dem.But every day wen she cum inna different car and claim fi seh a fi har car dem, a lie, arental car dem.

But hear dah part yah, him an dis 18-year-old chicken-head gal did a dagga pon d side an she breed an d gal wid harbare facego d wedding n wen d bwoy deh a d altar wid d wife she a text off d boy fone an a seh "Baby plz don't marry her I'm carryingyour child"! Raga, so true d boy luv d hype life him did go ahead an marry di gyal wid di money inna October-November of last year. Raga it was a orange and black wedding wid stretch F150 limousine n bare tings. D gal buy clothes fi d dutty boy family dem an him lice-head fren dem. Raga d bwoy get so caught up wid d hype life, an d ratbat gal dem weh ave pretty-car-eyes start dash out dem nookie pon him. Raga im deh wid d whole scheme, gal from up, dung n round an round.

So inna last month d wife an d boy mada find out seh she a breed fi di bwoy. D wife go start text har n a diss har up. So d matey which is d babymada go up a d boy yaad an she an d wife start cuss. D mada-in-law come out n start class up d matey bad, all wah war har. D mada-in-law didwah beat d gal wid a piece a bicycle iron, a ppl did affi go part dem. If d ppl dem neva partd mada-in-law fram d gal she wuda beat d gal wid d iron an maybe she wuda lose d baby, but it seems as if a dat d mada did wah.

So dem go wake d boy now an him hear wah did a gwaan. Raga d boy walk pass im mada n d wife an go dung d road fi d next gal an hug har up an walk pass dem. Raga d wife run go in har jeep n pu dung a breed a cow bawling! An him mada shame like dog. D mada luv d wife bcauz she mine har an she can get fi drive up n dung inna d car dem. Afta dat now di bwoy bring d baby madda dung a har yaad den gone up d road 2 a next gal, a different gal. Wen im go back dung a im yaad im gi d wife a fine piece a beaten. Raga, tell me now if him nuh bright? him a gi d wife nuff bun, himwi alllook odagal in front a har n she nuh seh nutin. She mussi tink seh money can buy luv! D way how dugly wifehype, last week Sunday nightshe cum from foreign an is a rahtid limo drop har at har husband's gate, lol. She do dat jus fi hurt up har 100 mate demhead.

Drama! Drama! An more Drama! But something missing fram di story. Supm else mus a gwaan fi di yute mek him have so much woman lock. Mi nuh know if a di wife money weh him a spen, or if him sort out shell dung, or him a bad man, or him a face bwoy, or him mout sweet, or if a sitin else, but supm else mus a gwaan fi him mek him can a dagga dung di whole scheme suh. An mi naa lie, di way how you hate him too mi all a wonda if you an him did eena likkle supm-supm. Mi jus a ask!

Now pon di matta of di wife - as di Jamaican sayin goes, 'libaty come through caylisniss'- suh di wife nuh have nobady fi blame but har self wen har husband a diss har an a beat har. How is it dat a woman can say shi married, an end up a cuss har matey, an ongle fi see har husband waltz pass har an guh hug up di matey, den him come back a buss up har whats-it-not, an shi jus tek it suh?! Noooo sah! A fi har fault mek hell-an-powda-house deh pon har case.kiss teet

Reach Ragashanti at mixupraga@gmail.com or PO Box 5866, Liguanea PO, Kingston 6.