Dear Pastor,

This is my first time writing to you. I am having a serious problem and I am in need of your advice.

I am a 28-year-old female who met a man. I was in a relationship with another man who went to New York to live, but we never had sex. Everything I asked for I got. The problem is that I was at work one day when a young man asked me if he can get my number because he likes me and he would like to be my friend. We talked for about a month and then he told me that he loves me.

Man in New York

Pastor, I told him not to tell me that he loves me because I don't want to be loved because I got hurt by my babyfather and that took away everything. Anyway, I said that I will give it a try. The man who lives in New York takes care of me and my two children, but he only comes once a year. So I got involved with this man. He tells me that he loves me.

I went to meet him in Kingston and when I came back to St Thomas, we talked right through the day. I called him and a girl answered and said, "A my time, when a your time, a your time."

Pastor, the thing about it is that I did not trust this man at all. He said that he is a police officer and when he says he is at work and calls I hear cars. When I asked him how he said that he didn't have any woman, and why he had to lie to me. He told me that he loves me and he didn't want to tell me because I wouldn't talk to him.

Anyway, I continued with the relationship. The woman kept on texting my phone. I told him to ask her to stop and he did. He called me and told me that when he text me, I must not text back because he loves me. We only had sex once but I fell in love with this man and it is hard to let go.

One day, I got a call from him and he told me that I must not feel anyway. He said that he was going to do something and then he will call me back and I must not call back his phone. The next day he called me and said that he only did it for the woman not to text me again. I want to believe him but it is hard.

Pastor, right now I want your advice. Should I stay with this man, or should I leave him and stick to the man in New York who I only see one time for the year?

T.E., St Thomas

Dear T.E.,

You are not a good woman. In fact, you are a very silly woman. You cannot be trusted. You have a man in New York who is taking care of you in Jamaica and yet you are willing to become intimate with a man in Jamaica.

I repeat, you are not a good woman. And this policeman with whom you are involved will never trust you because he knows what you are doing. He will fool you because you are easy to be fooled. He is not serious about you. And if the man in America finds out what you are doing, he will drop you.

Pastor