I am a regular reader of your column, but this is my first time writing to you. I am really thankful to God for persons like you who seek to help people in their need to get answers.

I am an 18-year-old female and I am a Christian. I have a boyfriend who is my age. We are together for three years now. He took my virginity after I dedicated my life to God, which I am not proud of. I love him world without end. He is everything to me. I am having difficulty pleasing or submitting to God's will because of the love I have for him. I have not backsliden but I do things I am not supposed to do, especially having sex.

live right

I want to stop, so I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he was willing to help me. I tried to convert him and I was successful until two weeks after, he said that it was too hard. This would have made things easier for me since I have no intention of leaving him. When he decided to help me to live right, I spoilt it. I begged him to have sex with me. He cursed and said that I am confused because I am drawing him to God, yet still I am pressuring him for sex. I am afraid that he goes to someone else, but most of all, I think I am addicted to his great sex because he is my first and only partner.

I was very active in church and blessed. I mean really blessed with a beautiful voice. I used to minister and save lives with my singing, but because of my guilt, I have alienated myself from church.

Even though I am still going to church, reading my Bible and praying, it is not the same. I go to church but I can't concentrate or worship because of guilt. I ask for forgiveness and then turn around and do the same things. Everything I do is centred on this guy. He helps me at school and when I have family problems. He is there for me.

He is my inspiration and he has brains. My parents and his parents encouraged the relationship because we are both hard-working in school and we are first-class students. I asked God to change him so that we will stop fornicating, but God seems not to hear my prayers. I love God and I love my boyfriend. I want to serve God, and I want to be with this guy, even though he has hurt me on numerous occasions. But my love for him will not allow me to let go. I know he loves me.

I doubt that anyone can understand, but I hope you will. Please help me to pray for him to change. I also need your advice on where I stand and where to go. I await your response in THE STAR.

Guilty Christian, Clarendon

Dear Guilty Christian,

Nobody has the power to convert another. Only God is able to transform the lives of sinners. So your efforts to convert this guy did not work and will not work. However, I believe that what you are trying to say is that you have tried to witness to him and you had hoped that he would embrace Christ as his Lord and Saviour.

And in so doing, both of you would not yield to the temptation of having sex. You meant well, but you failed miserably. You enjoy having sex and even when the young man made a commitment to serve God, you encouraged him to have sex with you.

I suggest that you read your Bible even more. Begin with Romans 12:1-2 and that you meditate and pray and ask God to keep your body under subjection. And I further suggest that you try not to be in any place with this young man alone where you would be tempted to have sex. You said you cannot do without him, so, you will have to decide between serving God and keeping this man. The choice is yours.

Pastor