I am writing you this letter with tears in my eyes. I am doing some things that I should not do. And when I am around my girlfriend, I feel guilty. I have a good job and I own an apartment and a car. And I have one daughter.

I got involved with my girlfriend's husband, but she doesn't know. I was in financial difficulty and he assisted me but I was always in love with him. Nor does she know that he is the father of my child. She and I work with the same company but not at the same branch.

her godfather

When I got pregnant and she asked me who I was pregnant for, I told her that the man lives abroad. This child resembles her father and he loves his little girl. Sometimes I ask him how long are we going to hide our affair, and when is the little girl going to be told who is her father. I have been lying to her by telling her that he is her godfather. Whenever he buys her gifts, she tells everyone who visits me that her godfather bought this and that for her. His wife accepts the child as his god-daughter.

Pastor, why is love so cruel? This is the best man I have ever had in my life. I am not asking you to tell me whether I should give up this man because I am not ready to do so. I can't live without him. I only want to know when I should tell my daughter the truth.

C.C., St Catherine

Dear C.C.,

The reason why you refuse to tell your daughter the truth is because you are not willing to end the intimate relationship with this man. If you were willing to bring this affair to an end, you would have told your daughter who is her biological father, and you would have been willing to face the embarrassment of having a child by your friend's husband.

You do not want me to comment on the relationship you are having so I will keep my mouth shut. Your daughter deserves better than what you are offering. If you fail to tell her the truth now, when she gets older and finds out she may hate you. The child would want to know why you did not tell her the truth.

You are a very selfish woman and you should ask yourself whether or not you truly love your daughter. Deception! Deception! Deception!

Pastor