Greetings to you and mankind everywhere. I am a Jamaican but I am living in America. I am having a problem with my girlfriend. We met in college and she helped me financially and emotionally. I am black but she is white.

After she graduated she went back home to her parents. She invited me to meet with them and they welcomed me and treated me very well. After spending a few days with them, I left because I had a summer job. I had to go back to my work. She got a job and got her own apartment and she invited me to spend a weekend with her. When I went, I had to compete with her dog.

keeps her company

She loves her dog and she sleeps with the dog. If the dog is not on the bed, the dog is on a little couch in the bedroom. If the dog could talk, it would tell all that we do in the bedroom. I told her that I don't like the dog in the bedroom. She said when I am not around it is the dog who keeps her company and I should learn to love her dog as much as I love her. Every time I think of her and going to see her, I have to think about her dog.

She buys the most expensive food for her dog. She was annoyed because I told her that her dog is not a human being and she is feeding him better than how she feeds herself. Looking back now, I know I was wrong to tell her so.

Please tell me how to tell her to keep her dog out the bedroom. Pastor, I love her very much and when she is displeased with me, I find it hard to concentrate on my college work.

N.T., USA

Dear N.T.,

Do not give this young woman the impression that you are competing with her dog. There are some people, especially women, who love their dogs. And they do care for them very well. West Indian people find it difficult to understand why some folks use the same plates and dishes that they use at the dinner table to feed their dogs. I have even heard people say that's nastiness.

We have seen on the morning shows women and men with dogs and the dogs licking their cheeks and lips. West Indian people can't stand that, but to some foreigners, nothing is wrong with that. To them, that is showing love to their pets.

If you love this woman, you would have to love her dog. And I would suggest that you do not make an issue out of it. Perhaps you can let her know that you would prefer if the dog is not in her bedroom while you are there. Don't tell her what she should give to her dog to eat. Be smart. She is not spending your money. It is her money. When you go to see her, learn to show affection to the dog by touching him, (if he won't bite you) and say something commendable about her pet. Don't allow the love and affection this woman has for her dog to cause both of you to break up if you truly love her.

It is good that the dog can't talk. But you have not said whether the things you do in the bedroom cause the dog to bark.

Pastor