Dear Pastor,

I am writing you about a situation that has been bothering me. I am 19 years old and I am currently living in the United States. Before I came here to live, I used to like this guy in Jamaica. I really liked him since sixth grade, and I was able to tell him when we went to school together but he said he didn't like me. I always believed that he likes me.

Six years have passed and I found him on a social-networking site. We said hi and stuff like that until he gave me his number for me to call him. He has a girlfriend. I asked him about the past and he said that he didn't remember what he told me but he remembered that I used to like him.

I still have feelings for him after all these years and I still believe that he likes me, but I am thinking about his girlfriend. I wouldn't want him to leave his girlfriend for me because if that happens, he can leave me for another girl. And if I was in her situation I wouldn't want my guy to talk to another girl. I wouldn't want her to get hurt, so I am thinking that I should stop talking to him, but I really have feelings for him and it is really difficult.

I am really in need of your advice. Please help me.

H.P.

Dear H.P.,

Feelings come and go. One ought not to base a relationship on feelings. You may have strong feelings for this man

today because he talks to you well, but tomorrow you may change because he ignores you. You may feel you love a man, but when you get to know him well, you may come to realise that he is not the type of man you would like to have as a husband.

Feeling is the Hollywood type of love. That is why couples do not stay together for long. They have feelings for each other, and after having sex a few times they break up because what they expected they did not get.

You admire this man. Nothing is wrong with that, but don't go further. He will take you on if you push yourself on him. But he will not stay with you because he is not feeling what you are feeling.

Pastor