Dear Pastor,

I was in a relationship which lasted about two years and this has taught me never, never to trust anyone.

I started talking to this man about two months after he broke off a relationship with his babymother. I became a bit sorry for him after he told me the situation and that the lady walked out on him. This man is 11 years my junior. I was timid because I have always said I would never talk to a man who was younger than I. However, I decided to give it a try.

He borrowed money from a lady to purchase a car and his babymother kept telling him that he was along with the lady and he said it was not true. He claimed that when the lady comes to Jamaica, he carried her around. I believed him. We continued, and to be honest, I didn't bother him when the lady was here and he had to transport her to various places.

We shared with each other, even though up to this point I was not getting anything from him, but since I was better off than him, I didn't bother him, even though sometimes I thought about it. I encouraged him to go on the farm-work programme and he jumped at it.

While he was away, we talked every day for the whole season. He told me he went to the lady's house over in America, but it still did not bother me. He came back and I went to the airport to get him and everything continues to be good. When he was in difficulty with his vehicle, he would use mine. No problem.

He went back on the farm programme again. About a month after, he called to say that he was going to get married. I questioned him and we had a long talk. He told me of his financial situation, his children's future, etc. I told him that is ok, I have no problem. I then asked him who he was getting married to and he said it was the same lady. I was frightened, but I still continued to question him. I asked him what kind of marriage he was doing and he said he was doing a business marriage, but to her, it was for good; and is not everything good to eat good to talk. I said ok, but he should be careful because sometimes you want to get out of these situations and you can't. We decided that we were still going to be friends. I agreed to it because I realised that I wasn't in my right mind.

encouragement

The night when he was to come home I did not sleep. I went and picked him up at the airport and we talked. I continued to encourage him because I believed him when he said it was a business marriage.

However, two months after he came home, the lady was to come to Jamaica, and this is when all hell broke loose. Lord, this was it. I couldn't call him, I couldn't text him. He asked me why I was sending text on his phone. If I opened my mouth and say anything to him, it was greeted with insults. I was frightened, and then came the stress and depression.

I still haven't got over it fully, but thanks be to the great God because without Him, I would surely die. I have drawn one conclusion. I am not saying I will not talk to another man, but let me tell the public something.

Any man I talk to, he will have to step up to the plate financially, Sorry, I am a really nice lady, but after getting this lick I am closing my eyes to all the good. I am muscling up because I know it is not easy to change from who you are.

S.M., Manchester

Dear S.M.,

You have taken a beating from this man; however, from the start of the relationship you should have suspected that the relationship he was having with the woman, who is now his wife, was not just social. His child's mother is smarter than you. You took up what she didn't want.

This is a dishonest man. He is a user and deceiver. And when he told you that he intended to do a business marriage, you should have told him that what he was doing is wrong.

To be frank with you, I do not believe that he did a business marriage. He told you so because he didn't want you to end the relationship with him. He fooled you all the way, and when his wife came to Jamaica, she had him under manners. He couldn't come to see you or answer his phone. You will get over him totally. So wish him well.

Pastor