Dear Pastor,

Four years ago, you officiated at my wedding. Since then my husband and I have not been getting along. He lives in Jamaica while I live in the United States. He has done everything, including cheating. He gives his women first place in his life. I really don't know what to do anymore.

I wanted my marriage to work, but now I just want to end it. Do you think I should hold out and still file for him, and just give him the green card and walk away?

We never do anything together. He is always in a rush for no reason at all. Even when we are having sex he is in a hurry, and then he says he is tired.

J.W.,

Dear J.W.,

I have observed you have not said you and your husband have gone for counselling. This is a long-distance relationship, therefore, both of you are under pressure. When you want to see each other, you can't because of the distance. You can't drive to see each other. And sometimes when couples can't see each other or communicate with each other, they accuse each other of cheating.

spending time together

I cannot defend your husband. You claim he is cheating and puts others before you. Perhaps you have good reasons for saying so, but you have not shared them with me. I am wondering how often you come to Jamaica. And, whenever you come, how long do you stay with your husband before returning to America?

I suggest, when you are planning to come to Jamaica, tell your husband you would like for the both of you to see a family counsellor. I cannot encourage you to leave him. I believe both of you need to have counselling sessions to try and save your marriage.

Pastor