Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and have a problem. I am in a relationship with a 52-year-old man, but it is not because of love. I also have my bona fide boyfriend who is 23 but lost his job in January. When he was working, he gave me everything I wanted.

My mother can't support me and I don't know my father. This 52-year-old man takes me around, and he is always trying to show me off to his friends. I do not know where he lives and I can only call him on his cell number. And the only time I can get money from him is when I agree to have sex with him. I asked him why he is so mean and he said that he is not mean, but I have to give to get.

I am going to evening classes and he pays my fees. He is always questioning me. He said he does not trust young girls. Sometimes when I am having sex with him, I have to think about my boyfriend to enjoy. Pastor, do you think he is using something to have sex with me? He stays on me during sex much longer than my boyfriend.

He is planning to go abroad in the summer, and he wants to take me. I don't know what to tell my boyfriend, but I would like the experience.

I asked him if he is married and he said yes, but his children are living abroad. When we are together, his phone never rings.

I need counselling. I am confused.

G.L.

Dear G.L.,

You have to decide what you want out of life. You are only 19 and you have two men in your life. One is almost three times your age, and the only reason you are with him is because of what you can get from him. You don't love him. You love his money. The Bible says "The love of money is the root of all evil."

Although this man is not aware you have a boyfriend, he knows many young women are tricksters. That is why he is not prepared to 'let off' unless you have sex with him.

temporary thing

This man is not telling you where he lives because he is afraid you will cause problems between his wife and himself. He is just having a good time with you because he knows the relationship with you is not lasting.

You think he might be using something that is enabling him to have sex with you for a much longer period than your boyfriend. Perhaps he is. He might believe you would enjoy sex for a long period of time. He feels you would laugh at him if he can't.

It is better for you to find yourself a job and pay for your evening classes. Tell this older man the relationship is over. Stick with your boyfriend. This older man is using you like a prostitute. You made a mistake when you got involved with him, but you can bring the relationship to an end right away. If you continue with this man, it would only be a matter of time before your boyfriend finds out you are cheating, and he will not trust you.

Pastor