Dear Pastor,

I am 16 and attending a prominent high school. I have a boyfriend who is 17 and we like each other. We are Christians and sometimes meet after school. He likes to touch me. But whenever he touches me, my heart beats very fast and I feel as if I am out of breath. Sometimes it is so loud you could hear it.

no pressure

My boyfriend told me he is not going to force me to have sex with him so I should not worry. Sometimes I feel like I can't help myself when we kiss. I am really worried.

He says he will not cheat on me, although there are other girls who like him and text him rude stuff. I don't want another boyfriend, but the older boys at school are always bothering me.

T.B., Clarendon

Dear T.B.,

You become very nervous when this young man touches you. You tremble because you are afraid the petting could lead to sexual intercourse. You should avoid engaging in heavy petting, such as the fondling of the breasts, stroking of the legs and your vagina etc.

Avoid French kissing. For some people, that is a big turn on. Many young people who have engaged in sexual intercourse, when it is over, say they didn't know how it happened. That is because they were not aware that heavy petting may cause women to lose control of themselves and their boyfriends seize the moment. These women become weak and helpless and don't even think of asking the guys to use a condom.

You two are inexperienced, so you should be careful not to do anything that will cause you to lose control. So avoid petting. Try not to be alone with your boyfriend. There are many places both of you can meet and talk. You will not be tempted to engage in heavy petting.

Pastor