I am 40 years old and have two children with my husband. I knew this man from I was 16 years old and we got married when I was 23. He is a good man. He works hard and he takes care of me even before we got married. I am from a poor family but his people are well off. The only problem I have with him over the years is his jealousy, so I was always careful not to do anything that would cause him to question me.

He is a good father, he loves his two daughters. They can't do anything wrong and they love him too. But, pastor, my husband got mixed up with a woman and when I confronted him about it, he swore on the Bible it wasn't true. She got pregnant and called and told me I should leave her man. She lost the baby but she is still harassing me now.

A few weeks ago, she told me she went to an obeah man and paid him to stretch out my private part, so I wouldn't be able to satisfy my husband. She called me old. Since she told me she went to an obeah man, every time I have sex with my husband, I always asked him if he is satisfied and he always says yes.

Do you think it is possible for an obeah man to make a woman unattractive to her husband? This girl is 26 years old. My husband said the relationship between them is over. I want to believe him, but sometimes he goes out and I don't know where he is. Please give me your advice.

J.A., Jamaica

Dear J.A.,

I am glad you have a husband who loves you and supports his family well. It is a blessing to have a good husband and father of your children who love him. You speak highly of him, so I know you love him.

So often good married men become sexually involved with other women. Some do so because they want to have a new experience with other women. Others do so because they feel that one woman cannot satisfy them, and there are some who believe they ought to be promiscuous. They believe if they don't have sex with a lot of women, then their penises would go dead.

I don't know why your husband is playing around with this 26-year-old woman, but I know if he did not want to continue this relationship with you, he would have left you a long time ago. She has done everything to frustrate you and tempt you to leave your husband. What she said she did to you through obeah is nonsense. She is vulgar and talks like someone who is limited in knowledge.

I suggest you and your husband go see a family counsellor. Her husband may say there is no need for counselling because the relationship between the girl and himself has ended. Tell him it is still bothering you; therefore, you need professional help.

Stay with your man. Nothing is wrong with you. Love is stronger than obeah.

Pastor