Dear Pastor,

I am presently in a relationship with a girl. She is 16 and I am 18. I am a Christian but she is not, and every time I invite her to church, she is not interested. My church had a crusade and I invited her. When the altar call was made, I tried to get her to go forward, but she told me her time hasn't come as yet. I asked her when her time will come and she said when we get married. One of the deacons saw us together and called me and told me to be careful because she is a bad girl and she would take me to hell.

We never had sex but we kissed. And when we kissed, she told me she was wet and she was ready. But I told her no, we are not ready to have sex. I almost did it because I had a strong erection and my penis started to pain me. I had to masturbate to get a release. I feel so guilty.

Do you think I should continue this friendship with this girl?

G.G.,

Dear G.G.,

I suggest that you end the relationship with this young woman. I do not doubt that you love her, but she is not a Christian and what she is eager to do, you are not ready to do.

The deacon was perhaps crude in his counselling approach. He advised you to leave this young woman alone. She would not take you to hell. I hope that she would not go there, but she has had sexual relations before and she is expecting you to have sexual intercourse with her as often as possible, but you are not into that at the moment.

She believes that she cannot be a Christian until she is married, because she wants to continue having sex. And she knows that the bible doesn't support sex outside of marriage.

I know you mean well, but please never force anybody to make a decision to become a Christian. It is a wrong thing to do.

Pastor