Bless up to all Tambareen linky-linky an mi Mix Up an Blenda peeps. It guh suh! An it set suh! Dem fi know!! A wa do some boring haters roun ere? Awright, pree dem too mix up ya:

Montego Bay Big Woman Bunna Gyal

Raga, this happen in Montego Bay at a workplace around 9 a.m. Mi want yuh big up one of the accountant at my workplace. Raga she a big woman inna har 40s and nuh stop tek people man. Raga she deh wid wah girl man and di girl work wid a well known airline. Yesterday, the man bring mi co-worker go tax office and it look like the man woman get a link seh the two a dem deh ova deh cause inna no time the man girlfriend reach ova the tax office.Raga, she lay wait the two a dem. Wen dem come outtathe tax office the man reach the car before my co-worker and go in. Wen mi co-worker walk up to the car the woman run from har hiding spot and seh, 'Hey gal look ya'. Raga wen mi co-worker turn round the man girlfriend jook har straight inna har eye! Raga, she frighten so till she tan up a rub the eye! The girlfriend then start create drama inna the parking lot (by this time a crowd had gathered). Hear har Raga, "Big woman, the car weh yuh did a move towards a my money buy it, so if a no me inna di front a mus him one-eye muma!" Raga, the girlfriend tek off har heel and a walk to the car, hear har to the man "Hey dutty boy come outta dis and drop the key. An mek sure seh wen mi reach home yuh gone, and you betta bring yuh gal go to the optician cause har eye nuh look too gud and har eye shadow cheap cause it rub off easy." With that said the woman drive off the car leaving the man and my co-worker standing in the parking lot. Raga, I nearly dead wen she turn up at the office and her whole har eye swell and she a bawl no hell. A good thing my linky linky from tax office did dun call mi and gimmi di 100. One a wi ask har, "Did you hit your eye on something love?" All now she nuh ansa.

Hot ya now! Mi say it aready an mi a guh say it again, if yuh a guh tek a gyal man den yuh betta can defen it. If yuh cyan roll cold den unu fi leave people man alone. Cause nuff a dem ya woman nowadays naa tek nuh check wid dem man. As soon as dem see a woman even a brush gainst dem man a straight war dem a pree. Look deh now, she guh get di whole a har yeye juk out an di man get embarrass wen him woman tek back har car. Das why mi say doan give bun! But if yuh tink yuh haffi gi bun, den dweet wid repek. It nuh too right fi a man deh wid a woman, den di woman gi him har car fi drive, den him tek har car a drive up an dung an a floss di town wid a bunna gyal, an all a mek di whole worl see wa a gwaan. Dem flex deh jus bring bare stress yow.

Gyal get Done inna Dream

Raga mi wah seh big up to a fren weh save har fren dis mawning inna mi dream. Afta mi heated fi di gyal from bout three weeks now an mi nuh deal wid har shi com inna mi dream. Suh mi tell har mi nuh want har back inna mi yaad and shi guh draw couple big stone and slap offa mi. Suh mi guh inna my yaad and nah pay har nuh mind, suh shi run com in my yaad and fling and lick out mi winda. Mi just draw two stone an lick har! Wen mi run ova pan har fi guh fix har more, har fren com knock pan mi door and ask if mi nah gah work, and a suh mi wake up. Mi get up vex enuh mi all reach work late to rahtid!

BOAL! Noooo sah!! My girl, yuh know say yuh nuh righted! Mi say yuh CYAAN righted!! Yuh really get heated because yuh did a dream say yuh did a fight a gyal weh yuh nuh like, an jus as yuh a guh bus up har backscova di gyal weh yuh did a beat fren come wake yuh up? A suh yuh heated fi har? Hush yaa. Hear wa, di nex time yuh collar har inna yuh dream yuh fi beat out har whats-it-not QUICK!, before smaddy else wake yuh. DWRL!! Yuh a sample!! Yuh nuh easy fi real.

Reach Ragashanti at mixup-raga@gmail.com or PO Box 5866, Liguanea PO, Kingston 6.