Prapa-prapa shell dung blessings to mi good-up good-up Tambareen Fambily an mi Mix Up an Blenda massive. Unu gwaan pree dem two mix up ya:

Wifey ketch Hubby a Dash Out

Raga, big up di fool fool gal wey say she a tek mi husband and no know how fi hide her doings. Raga, mi say, mi husband get a call one morning and di man start act strange, so mi watch him. Hear di man pan di phone, "Ah ah ah ah mi can call u back?" About six minutes after dat di phone ring again, and di man a act fool fool again and a look all around di place. Mi no wild him, so mi look pan mi watch. In a di night mi say to him, lend mi u phone fi mek a call, him gi mi, mi just check him call listing fi incoming call fi di day and di time and mi c a number.

Di next morning mi call di number and a girl answer it, hear mi, "I am calling from Digicel, just want to know if u have any problems with ur calling log." She say yes, and explain how ppl a call her and she naa get di call dem. So mi tell her fi gi mi some information. Mi get her name, her address, who buy di phone fi her, and dem things de. Mi hang up and wait fi bout 10 mins and call her back. Mi say to her say I am having problems accessing her account and need more info such as the five numbers that she call most regular. She give mi mi husband number first, her mother overseas and her friend, etc.

Now hear how di man get catch. Misay to di man di weekend, hey u friend so & so pregnant, him ask who, mi call di girl name. But him have a friend who married to a girl wid the same name, Raga di man turn white. Hear di fool fool man, Raga, "Which so and so, mi no know nobody name so." Den him say, "ohhhh mi know one, mi friend wife she pregnant?" and u know say mi know one next one." Hear mi to him, "Lord u get catch," and di man start to confess.

Yuh know say unu woman nuh easy wid da practice deh weh unu a call people an a act like unu a customer service representative from di phone company. An jus like dat yuh mek shi reel out all a har bizniz. Go see how yuh a boasy up yuh voice fi soun professional. Mi know say Missa Man mus careful roun yuh now afta him find out seh a so yuh smart. Bless up!

Hubby ketch Wifey a Dash Out

Raga, mi jus memba dis mix-up bout miself. Wen mi was still married, mi did have a bunna man. Wen mi husband gone a farin, mi open one back door weh wi neva need fi use at all, an let him in. Wen mi husband come back, him meck mi know seh him know all wat did gwaan. Pon top of all weh him hear, him meck mi know seh him did run masking tape across di door opening, so him know seh di door did open wen him did gone weh. Raga, mi frighten till all now mi no look pon di door fi see if a true him a talk. Get ketch red-handed.

DWL!Mi deh ya a laugh afta how yuh say di way how yuh did frighten all now yuh nuh look pon di door fi see if a true!! A suh more while wen yuh a ketch smaddy wid sinting yuh haffi jus shock dem out! mek dem all a stamma like wow! Lol! Mi all like da move deh wid di tape cross di door. Mi woulda mek di tape nice an thin, so dat a ongle me can notice if it move wen di door open. Yuh husband did ketch yuh good fi true. Bless up.

Reach Ragashanti at mixupraga@gmail.com or PO Box 5866, Liguanea PO, Kingston 6.