DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, P.O. BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. TELEPHONE 929-1667/8 EMAIL PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM

Dear Pastor,

Why would anyone give permission to cheat? Why would anyone want to allow such a vile smear on their relationship with someone they really care about?

When you enter into a relationship, both partners have committed to exclusivity and the mere suggestion should not even be considered.

I would be appalled and sickened to have my partner suggest that, even if we were in conflict and he was joking.

I mean, why be in a relationship if a spouse would give permission to the other to cheat? How can a man or a woman give permission to have his/her spouse and indirectly expose him/herself to the horrors of promiscuity?

No trust

Each time you have relations with someone, a person exposes themself to the possibility of some microbe, even with protection. Just the thought makes me cringe.

How can there be any trust? Wouldn't the other partner be wondering just how many times their spouse is going elsewhere?

No, Pastor, I most certainly would not. If he would suggest something like that, he doesn't respect or deserve me. If I was the one to give that permission, I would hope that he is man enough to put me in my place.

D.R.,

Dear D.R.,

I understand what you are saying and your position must be respected because it is the correct position. However, it is quite common for women to give their men permission to have sex with other women. Some women make sure they put condoms in their men's lunch kit, wallet or hand it to them in person.

Some women say it is not a matter of giving permission but they know that their men will cheat so they give them condoms to protect themselves and, ultimately, their families.

Pastor