Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old young woman and I have a boyfriend. I know you are going to say I am bad, but I am not. This is true love. He is 51 years old. I fell in love with him when I spent the summer at my aunt's house in Kingston. After summer was over and I went back to my parent's home, he called me and said he and my aunt broke up, and he would like me to be his girlfriend. I told him I didn't think that is right. He said when I was staying with my aunt he couldn't take his eyes off me, especially when I put on shorts.

He came all the way from Kingston to find me and I lied and told my mother I was going to spend the weekend with my girlfriend. I set up my girlfriend to tell my mother I am there with her whenever she calls. I went with the man to a hotel and I really fell in love with him. Now I am all his and he is mine.

My aunt doesn't know we are lovers and I can't tell my mother. Pastor, don't tell me to leave him because I can't. As I am writing this letter, everything I am wearing, he bought them for me. He told me he has a green card and he wants both of us to live in America. I don't know what my mother is going to say. So, I am asking you to tell me whether or not I should tell her.

My mother knows about a boyfriend I have who lives in Clarendon. He is 20 years old, but he doesn't have any money. I used to like him before I fell in love with this other man, but now my mind is changing from him. I have to force myself to have sex with him but I don't have to force myself to have sex with the other man.

R.O., Clarendon

Dear R.O.,

You said that I shouldn't consider you a bad girl, neither should I tell you to leave the man who had an intimate relationship with your aunt and is now your man. Well, I wouldn't promise you anything. I will tell you that one of these days he will leave you. If he doesn't leave you, you will leave him. It will be just a matter of time.

You have no pride. You have no shame and you lack common sense. You don't love your aunt and you don't love yourself. You don't have any respect for family. You love money and it is greed that has got you into this situation.

How are you going to tell your aunt and your mother you are having an intimate relationship with this man? Have you no shame?

This man is iniquitous. He knows what he has encouraged you to do is grossly immoral. That cannot be right. How can you make love to the man who made love to your aunt and both of you are bragging about it? He is making a fool of you by promising you that both of you will get married and live in America.

I hope you won't put your foot back into your aunt's house. What you are experiencing is not love. Love does not deceive. Love is not proud and haughty.

You are young but you are old enough to know what you are doing is wrong. So, hear me, stop now. Yes, I am telling you to stop. End the relationship with this man and do not bring disgrace upon yourself and your family.

Pastor