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February 18, 2011
Star Tell Me Pastor


 

Bun fi bun
Dear Pastor,

I have a problem I hope you will be able to advise me on. I have been in a relationship with a young man for almost five years. It seems as if it is about to end, but I must admit it is mostly because of some things I did over the years. I have cheated on this person and he in turn did the same. It has been taking a toll on us.

I really believe the relationship can be saved. The problem is he is saying and doing stuff to get back at me. Even though I know he is hurt by what I have done, I feel I should put an end to it, but that is easier said than done.

There is also another problem with my kids. I have two grown kids. One of them got involved in our relationship to the point where my guy has decided to stop coming to my home whenever she is there, even though she lives in Canada.

I love her but I believe she should allow me to make my own decisions. Pastor, I would like to know if I should continue to try and save this relationship, or should I let go. I am 46 years old and he is 45.

I.O.

Dear I.O.,

I have observed you did not once mention in the letter whether this man loves you or you love him. You cheated on this man and he cheated on you. You say you believe the relationship can work, but you haven't given reasons why you believe you have a future together.

Would you be able to trust this man and will he be able to trust you? Bear in mind what took place between the two of you. I suggest you both make an appointment to see a family counsellor together. May I add that you should not ignore your daughter's concerns. Should something happen between you and this man, and he leaves you, it is the children who you would have to stand up for you. So think twice before telling your daughter to get out of your business.

Pastor

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