Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old girl with a problem. I have a 37-year-old guy living in England. He is in Jamaica for a couple weeks.

He paid for my school and CXC fees. He has a son in Jamaica and anything I want he gives me, but I have a boyfriend living in Jamaica. I met him eight months ago. He is down to earth, charming, intelligent and realistic; the type you bring home to meet your family.

I am really confused because I care for my boyfriend in Jamaica a lot, but I am with another man. My boyfriend in Jamaica gives me anything I want also. I want to leave the guy from England, but I don't know how.

We had sex but we didn't use any condom and he withdrew as soon as he was about to ejaculate. I think I might be pregnant or maybe I am just worrying too much. My boyfriend in Jamaica and I are not on good terms, but we are working out our differences and he wants me to have a bright future. He also wants me to be independent. I don't want to lose my boyfriend who lives in Jamaica because he is great.

I am doing well in school and I know I can pass my subjects, but I don't know what to do about the situation. They say money can't buy love and happiness and it is true. All I want is to be happy with my boyfriend out here and marry him. I also want to treat him well and let him know I can be a future wife for him.

I need your help, Pastor. I can't wait to hear what you have to say. My boyfriend who lives in Jamaica is 28. Keep up the good work. I enjoy reading your column.

Confused

Dear Confused,

I can see that you like older men. The two men in your life are much older than you. The one who lives in England is 37 and the one in Jamaica is 28. You like both of them for different reasons. The man in England was able to pay your school fees and for your CXC subjects. However, you have indicated that you prefer your boyfriend who lives in Jamaica. Evidently he is poorer than the one in England, but the love for him is stronger.

So often young women sell themselves to men who are in a position to help them financially. Right now, the only reason you are with this man who lives in England is because of the help you are receiving from him. You want to leave but you don't know how. Let me tell you how.

Stop taking his money, not one cent more, not one pound more. Tell him you appreciated his help but you have a boyfriend and you realise you ought not to keep two men in your life at the same time. Tell him it is bothering your conscience so you want to move on. Be nice about it but stand firm.

I must remind you that it is unwise to have unprotected sex. It is not only pregnancy that you should be concerned about, but also STDs including HIV/AIDS. this 37-year-old man who had unprotected sex with you should know a man can impregnate a woman even when he withdraws. He ought to know that sperm seeps through a man's penis during sexual intercourse before he ejaculates, and that can get a woman pregnant.

Remain with your Jamaican boyfriend but do not have unprotected sex with him. If you must have sex, please use a condom.

Pastor