Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing.

I met a man 13 years ago when we were in our late teens. We started an intimate relationship which didn't last very long. He was with other girls and I found out. After a few years, we got back in contact through a mutual friend and we decided to start a relationship again.

This relationship lasted longer, because he showed more love and interest in me. He would lie to me from time to time, which I would eventually find out. When his phone rang he would walk away or let them know he would call them back as he was busy. I didn't like that. Sometimes he didn't bother to answer. But to be honest this man shows a caring attitude towards me. We communicate well and he is simple and cooperative.

One day at his home, I found out about another girl while we were conversing. I was very angry at the time and left. I had met someone a couple months before, but decided to keep it on a friendly basis since I was involved with my boyfriend. But after leaving my boyfriend, this other guy and I became intimate friends, and I got pregnant for him. My ex would call and ask for forgiveness and when I told him I was pregnant, he said he did not care. He would call me every day, late at nights, early in the morning, you name it, on special occasions and all. I always told him no and I never once gave in to him. He never stopped calling.

I gave birth and it was the same thing with him. I don't call him, I don't return missed calls but he would call, or even call my sister to find out about me. Now my daughter is four years old and he still calls. He still wants a relationship. He treats her like his own, and wants us to spend time with him.

I am single now and I have been thinking about it, but not sure what to do. I went out with him three times and I was happy. We had sex once since. Now I am starting to think about him. He says he want us to build a relationship and put the past behind. I can't help but feel he doesn't mean what he says. He is seeing someone who lives overseas but says he is not in love with her. Do you think it is worth trying again?

Unsure

Dear Unsure,

You made a fundamental mistake by renewing the relationship with this man. You knew him as a liar and he has not done anything to prove he has changed. He is still a clever liar. And he is cunning. He was able to woo you back into his life. He did it by offering gifts to you and showing interest in your daughter. And you allowed your naivety to get the better of you, and you yielded to him.

When a man wants a woman, he may promise her house, land, silver and gold. If she is foolish, she may fall for his promises.

This man knows he has another woman in America. He tells you he doesn't love her. He is lying. Don't be surprised to hear the woman has come back to Jamaica and they are getting married. Don't let this man ride you. He doesn't mean you any good. He is a selfish man. Be wise. Learn to say no. If you don't, you will be adding unnecessary stress to your life.

Pastor