Dear Pastor,

I am sometimes thinking whether I would ever marry a black man, especially a Jamaican man again. I am now 50 years old. I got married to a Jamaican in 1987 and I brought him to Canada, which was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. He wanted everything out of life, but was not willing to work for it. We managed to stay married for two weeks shy of 10 years. It all happened because of my humility at the time.

I finally got the courage to leave him in 1996. I now consider myself one of the happiest divorced women there is. We have a daughter who is now 20 years old. She is in college and he doesn't know how she eats. He has done nothing for her from the time we ended the relationship. Maybe he thought that he was spiting us, but he is now scrounging off other women. He loves freeness.

Happily Divorced,

Dear Happily Divorced,

If you don't want to marry another Jamaican black man, and you fall in love with a white man from another country, go ahead and do your thing. Not all marriages work. Make sure that you are willing to work with the man you love and not to treat him as a child. Make sure also that you don't spoil him by giving him everything that he needs. The Bible says that if a man does not work he should not eat. Good men do not depend on women for everything.

Before I go, let me say that not all women should get married and not all men should get married. People who are not willing to compromise and to forgive each other and work together, should remain single. Women who love to push around men and men who believe that they should behave like big bullies, should never get married.

Pastor