Dear Pastor,

I am a young woman and I grew up in the church. My parents taught me to remain a virgin until I get married. But in my second year in college, I fell in love with a young man who is a Rastafarian. He keeps himself very clean and he is charming. I told him I was a Christian. He doesn't smoke or drink and that surprised me. He is very intelligent. He calls me his queen.

We used to study together. The first time I tried to kiss him, he turned his jaw. Believe me, I was a virgin and we went together for four months before we had sex. He didn't force himself on me. All I can remember is after we were finished studying one night, I hugged him and he asked me if I wanted him to stay over and I said yes. After he started to make love to me, everything went out of my head. He told me he did not have a condom and I told him that was all right. I lost my virginity to him that night. When we finished having sex, I started to cry. He told me he was sorry for hurting me. I told him that was not the reason I was crying. I told him I was hoping he never leaves me.

One weekend I went home and my mother said that she observed something strange about me. She asked me if I have a boyfriend and I said yes. She asked me why I didn't bring him home to meet them and I told her she wouldn't like him. She asked me why and I told her he is a Rasta. She had a plate in her hand and she dropped it. She was so shocked.

My father is a deacon in his church and when he came home my mother told him what I said and he told me he was disappointed in me, but he can't choose for me. My boyfriend's parents love me. I would like to take my boyfriend to meet my parents, but I know they are not ready.

I am still a Christian and I go to church. My boyfriend comes with me sometimes.

I am writing for you to tell me what to do.

S, St Andrew

Dear S,

You have taken the first step. You have informed your parents you have a boyfriend and he is a Rastafarian. The next step you should take is to ask them if they will allow him to meet them. You describe this man as very clean man and one who does not smoke or drink. So if you have not told your parents he is not a smoker or a drinker, you should, because most people believe all Rastafarians smoke marijuana and drink.

I do not believe your parents would deny you the privilege of taking your boyfriend home. Make sure whenever you are taking him home you do not plan for him to sleep over.

I wish you well and I hope you do not allow this man to impregnate you. Both of you are sexually active. You are the one who offered yourself to him, so I hope if you believe you must have sex you will protect yourself.

Pastor