Greetings to you. I am in my bedroom doing two things - talking to my husband and listening to the radio. You are very special. I grew up reading your column and over the years I have learnt so much from you. Even my husband, who is an American white man, has come to appreciate the work you do. My husband and I got married four years ago. This is his first marriage but this is my second.

He is a spoiled baby.

Sometimes when I want to have sex he is not ready. He thinks I love sex too much. He is a real good Christian who believes too much sex is not good for me. He doesn't even want me to look at him when he takes off his clothes. He has a small penis. Sometimes when we have sex and he comes, I have to go into the bathroom and masturbate. I love my husband very much but when it comes to the sex part, I am tempted to cheat.

I don't know if I am explaining myself well, but I need more sex. And I need your advice.

S.E., Texas, USA

Dear S.E.,

I am glad you enjoy reading my column and listening to the Dear Pastor Show. It is regrettable your husband has not been able to sexually satisfy you. I hope you will remain faithful to him and work with him so he will overcome his inhibitions and fears.

Your husband feels inadequate. He knows you need much more than he can give, so he tries to blame you by saying you love sex too much. He knows he has a small penis and has been unable to satisfy you. I am sure you have talked to him many times about the situation. Therefore, he says you love sex too much as an excuse for not responding whenever you feel the need for it.

I suggest both of you go to see a sex therapist so he or she may help you to meet your sexual needs together. If this man cannot have sexual intercourse with you, there are other things both of you can do to feel sexually satisfied. I am not condemning you for masturbating. But I would urge both of you to see a therapist as early as possible.

Pastor