Dear Pastor,

I am 32 years old and my sister is 25. Both of us right now are sharing the same man. She is denying it, but whenever she is around, he doesn't come to see me at all. She works outside the parish and comes home every two or three weeks. And I picked up that something is wrong whenever she is around, and friends have told me that they have seen his car at her house. I never asked her why she encourages him there, but one day when he came to see me I smelt her perfume on him. I knew he was with her because that is the type of perfume she uses.

pregnant

Recently, she got pregnant and she told me about it. She said that she did not want to carry the pregnancy, and I asked her why not. She said that the man who got her pregnant is a married man. But I do not believe her story. I believe that it was my boyfriend who got her pregnant. I told him that I heard that my sister was pregnant and he went silent. I could have seen guilt in his face.

Pastor, I would rather not talk to my sister for the rest of my life than to allow her to take away my man from me. Do you think I should confront her on the matter?

O.T., St Catherine

Dear O.T.,

I suggest that you don't say a word to your sister. You are not sure that your boyfriend is going to bed with your sister. If indeed they are lovers, you will eventually find out. What is in the dark will come to light. I know that you are not a fool, you are an intelligent woman but time will tell if indeed something is going on between your sister and your man. Don't ask her a word.

Suppose she is not guilty of anything? you would just cause a division in the family. If she is not guilty, she will tell other family members what you accused her of and they will hate you. You have already asked the man and he said nothing is going on between them. I hope you tell your man not to tell her anything.

What I must suggest to you is that whenever your sister is in town and you do not see your man, become a private investigator by passing by her house a few times to see whether he is there. If you do that for a couple times and he is always there, you should confront the both of them at your house. Ask both of them why he is spending so much time with her and not with you.

Pastor