Dear Pastor,

I am a 26-year-old mother of a three-year-old daughter. Currently, I am faced with a challenge and I need your help to make the right decision. I am a very independent woman. I studied environmental science in college and I am now doing a supervisory management course with UWI. I am living in my own house and I have a full-time job. My sister is 18. My daughter's father and I all live together. I am working on shift.

My sister has been living with us for three years now. On Tuesday, she left a note on Facebook telling me that my consort came on to her Monday night when I was at work, but I should not talk to him in the presence of others. When I confronted him, he said that he is sorry. He was crying and saying that he was on Facebook watching some sex videos on his friend's page, then he had no idea what came over him and before he knew it, he started fondling her while sucking her breasts. She said she told him to stop, but he said he did not hear. He then asked her if he should go and put on a condom. She said she told him no, but he said he didn't hear what she said because the radio was on. He came and started penetrating her and she said she was telling him to stop. He agreed that she was telling him to stop and about two to three minutes, there -about, he stopped.

depressed

This is so making me depressed. What should I do with both of them? For the past two years, I was having problems with him because he was not treating me well. He was not showing me love and I was going to leave him, and he arranged a session with a pastor because he said that he loves me. Now, I saw where he had changed and really seem as if he wanted our relationship to work, so I decided to start loving him again. He is planning to marry me.

Please, help me make the right decision. I don't know what to do. He says he does not want to lose his daughter's love and he is deeply sorry. I need your help. Please help me.

O., Jamaica

Dear O.,

I hope that you will not blame your sister for what has happened. Your man planned it all. You say that your sister objected when he was fondling her and sucking her breasts. She said no and he should have accepted that. No means no. He should not have allowed the thought of having sex with your sister to occupy his mind.

Your sister objected to his sexual advances, but he continued. He heard every word she said, but he wanted to have his way. He is a liar, and a very wicked man. He cannot be trusted, and he may rape again.

I cannot encourage you to continue to have an intimate relationship with him. Please encourage your sister to go for counselling.

Don't be fooled by this man's crocodile tears. These tears are only to get you to stay with him. Perhaps he believes that by crying you will forgive him, but remember you can forgive but still throw him out. He deserves to be thrown out of your house right now.

Pastor