I am a 24-year-old Jamaican female currently living in the United States of America. I have been with my fiancé since I was 18 years old. We have a four-year-old son. I had him shortly before leaving Jamaica.

I continued to have a long distance relationship with his father until we began arguing and then we stopped talking. He only called to speak to his son. I recently returned to Jamaica for six months, and we sorted things out and started our relationship again. I couldn't have been happier until he told me he has a 2-year-old daughter with somebody with whom he had a one-night stand during the time we were not talking. Although I was upset, I figured we were no longer together and he and his family reassured me nothing further will be going on with his daughter's mother.

This woman has since been trying to cause trouble for us. She constantly calls, sends abusive messages and gives me bad looks in the street. She even went to my church and told the pastor lies about me. She says she doesn't want him and she hates him, yet she won't leave us alone. Prior to my returning to Jamaica, she had not let my fiancé or family see his daughter, yet when I got there, she sent her down every week. She threatens to take my fiancé to court for child support. It is getting me down because she is causing constant problems. I feel a way when the child is around as it is a constant reminder of their fling. He confronted her in the street telling her to stop because he doesn't want her. She was a mistake and she wants to fight me. What should I do?

Name withheld, New York, USA, Spanish Town Jamaica

Dear ...,

I must ask you to understand what this young woman is going through. She is angry, and she has a right to express it. Face it, your child's father came into her life, and got her pregnant. She thought everything was all right between them, and then suddenly, you show up from nowhere, and now this man is telling her that he does not want her anymore. The woman has a right to raise hell. She might be wasting her breath, but she must vent her feelings.

Keep out of her way, but remember that if you were in her shoes, you might have behaved the same way.

Pastor