Continue doing the good work you are doing. I need some advice before I find myself in trouble. I was in a relationship with this woman. At the time, I was about 29 years old. She had two children before we got together and I decided to take care of them like my own. I would send them to school, cook to make sure they had dinner as soon as they got home, pay for their school books, give them their birthday presents etc, like a good father would do.

Things went well for a time. I got a visa and started to work overseas. While there working, she mentioned that I should start building a house, as we were not living together as yet. When I got back, we would have somewhere to live, and I agreed and started. As time went by, I made an addition to the house because her kids were getting older.

nagging

I noticed things started to change. We did not have any kids together as yet. She started to argue a lot even sometimes when I called on the phone from the States. When I am in Jamaica she is so nagging. During all the arguments and nagging, I still stayed around because by then she was pregnant and I did not want to leave my son not knowing his father or not doing my part.

After my son was born, it got a little better but as he started to grow older, she went back to her old self again and so did her two kids. It reached to a point where they said that I did not build any house and I should come out. She also said to me that I should expect her kids to act disrespectfully to me because they are not mine. She did not remember that I was the one that grew them from they were small.

God's help

Pastor, to tell you the truth, I took them from one place to another with God's help. Things got worst and she did not wash for me even when I was only here for a short time. Sometimes when I was here and she went to work, I would wash her kids' clothes. When things started to fall apart, she started to spite the child she had for me. When he was to go to school, she would do nothing, not even to get up to have him ready for school or to give him a cup of tea. I had to tell her to leave his clothes and don't wash them as she had them for a week without washing them.

After we broke up, which was good for me, and thank God he took me out of it, we had to go to court to settle the matter regarding the house. It took me years to build it, and my son is not there to benefit from my labour so they told us we had to value the house and either one pay the other or we sell it. I also feared how she would mistreat him, so I didn't leave him with her.

I got the house valued and I decided to sell my share to her. Now, she won't pay me for the house I worked so hard to build that my son would have something to get when I am gone. I have to start all over again. I don't want to do what I am thinking, because I still have to care for my son and he is still young. She is pushing me to the edge. If she had cared for our child, then I would have walked away and left the house knowing that my son would have something. This has stressed me a lot and it is time to put an end to what is happening. Please give me your fatherly advice.

Initial and address withheld by request.

Dear ..,

If the matter of the division of property was settled in court, then you should go back to your lawyer and have him pursue the matter further. Please do not take matters in your hand, you will get yourself in trouble. At present, things may seem drawn out but there will be an end to this matter. You are eager to receive your money and you will get your money if the matter is handled correctly.

Something went wrong in your marriage that has caused your wife to turn against you. However, whatever might have happened, she should treat your son well. He is her son too. And if indeed you have done so many good things to help the children who are not biologically yours, you should be congratulated. And if these children are being disrespectful to you, they are indeed very ungrateful. And their mother has played a role in their attitude they have displayed towards you.

Pastor