Dear Pastor,

There are some things that a woman can do to make her spouse feel special. She could respectfully communicate with him and let him know he is important to her. A woman should try to understand her spouse's feelings even when she disagrees with him. She could also show interest in his friends and show kindness towards them. A woman should not hold on to little things her man does wrong.

We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse's. Tell your spouse you love him, either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. A wife should protect her husband's dignity on a daily basis and be tender with him, realising that he has feelings also. Wives should foster an atmosphere of laughter in the home. Look for ways to laugh together. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussing them with him and giving him time to adjust. When you go out on a date together do not bring up problems, have fun instead.

Try to focus on what your man is doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives. A woman should show interest in what her spouse feels is important in life. Special time should be given to him when you are both apart from the children. She should also recognise that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Therefore, a wife should try to make the first few minutes a positive experience for her husband when he comes home. And then discuss problems later in the evening, if it is necessary. Give the man at least half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work before bringing up any touchy issue. Your evenings with your spouse will be much more enjoyable.

Do not allow relatives to treat your spouse with disrespect. You should be the one to defend him if your relatives try to dishonour your husband. A wife should also give compliments to her husband. She should be creative when she expresses her love to her husband, both in words and actions. She should also talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other and strengthen your relationship.

J. L.,

Dear J.L.,

You are a wise woman. You hit the nail on its head. Girl, you have it right. No man will want you to leave him as a wife. What you are telling the women is their beautiful figure and action in the bedroom alone will not keep the man. There are many other things and you have named them.

A man wants his wife to give him 'oil of stay home'. And it is not just sex, it is much more than that and you have named many of them.

May God bless you, my dear. I love you.

Pastor