Dear Pastor,

People often confuse forgiveness with tolerance. You can forgive someone for almost anything, but you cannot tolerate everything. When you forgive your partner, you don't excuse his/her behaviour. You call it what it is and move on. You don't tolerate it constantly and call it forgiveness.

C. R.,

Dear C.R.,

One can indeed forgive another but refused to continue in the relationship. Some people don't see it that way but they are wrong. For example, a woman may forgive a man for beating her up. He does it once and she warns him and tells him that if he does it again, she will leave him. He does it a second time, so she calls the police.

She might not press charges against him. She may forgive him for what he did to her, but she may never trust him again. The fear may remain in her heart that if both of them continue the relationship, he may physically abuse her again. Therefore she tells him that the relationship is over. That is, indeed, a very wise woman.

Pastor