Dear Pastor,

Marriage should be forever but in today's world I think people get married for the wrong reasons, which makes it almost impossible for the marriage to last.

If people are in love and get married, it could last, but I would recommend to anyone to get some marriage counselling before entering into marriage. Sometimes this counselling will help them realise whether they should enter into a union.

Sometimes, because of a person's upbringing, they end up getting married to the first person they meet, and later on find that they have nothing in common.

Sometimes people get married to have sex because they are afraid to get pregnant and have children out of wedlock.

Sometimes marriage get so frustrating that one has no alternative but to leave the union. It would be such a lovely word if everyone could know, beforehand, if they are suited for each other. I could go on and on but one has to decide what is best for him/her.

Should a woman who is being abused, emotionally or physically, remain in a marriage?

Should a person who has no romance in their marriage and feels like she is only there to be his maid, or to have sex with him, remain in that marriage?

Should a woman whose husband can only talk to her when he has his hands in her pants remain in that marriage?

X.E.,

Dear X.E.,

I agree that people get married for different reasons. However, no one can guarantee that a marriage will work. And that is one of the reasons why no one should criticise or condemn a couple who have decided to separate or to get a divorce. Sometimes things appear to be going well with a couple but that is only a show in public. At home they are miserable and can't stand each other. Many couples sleep 'head and tail' on their beds. Some sleep in separate rooms, not because it is convenient to do so, but because the love they have for each other has gone cold. Some have outgrown each other. Some relationships are dead and cannot be brought back to life. Therefore, couples should know when to walk away.

No marriage is perfect. All is not well in every area at all times. Therefore, when a couple finds that they are having problems, they should seek professional help. If after receiving a series of counselling sessions, their relationship has not improve, they should agree to part in peace without animosity to each other.

Pastor