Hey Miss, what time of the year did you meet your last boyfriend? Did he woo you and court you sometime around April and then he suddenly found a reason to break up the affair near October? It may actually have been a well calculated plan. Take it from me!

Yes ladies, uunu know Blakka have unnu back. So as a special Christmas contribution, I'm giving you the low-down on a ploy that some stingy men have been using. Yeah peeps, mi nuh business 'bout who wants to call me snitch; mi ago run di story straight without hitch. And yes, I know this will upset some misters, but mi nuh care 'cause I'm just looking out for the sisters.

Some laud it as a brilliant cost-saving device. Some say it just proves that some men are just not nice.

Hear how it goes now. I have discovered that there are quite a few single men who are so afraid of having to buy expensive gifts or finance dating expeditions, that they make a point of avoiding the prospects of meeting a new lady during certain months of the year. Specifically, they never form a new relationship or allow an old one to continue anywhere near October.

According to how I hear it, these men always go seeking new female partners just after Easter. That way, they escape the trauma, drama and expenses associated with all the holidays between October and February. Yeah, that's how it is. So girlfriend, if you have one of those guys who see you and know you from last August, but waits patiently and purposefully until just after the Easter break to suddenly start fling lyrics of love in your direction, just tell him you know, and kill him with the no. Just give him another half year of nos, to match the six months of nos that he arranged by waiting so long.

No tokens

Yeah dem man deh have about six solid months of 'no'. No tokens or trinkets to buy for the Heritage week and no getaway to plan for Heroes Day. No having to purchase crazy costumes for Halloween - which used to be a foreign thing, but is now taking over Jamaica. No need to buy new clothes, draperies, furniture and presents for Christmas. No pair of tickets to buy for Boxing Day entertainment events. No romantic New Year's Eve ball to pay for. No jewellery, wine or chocolate to put money on for Valentine's Day, and no need to buy out all of the Captain's bakery and Tastee cheese for Easter.

It doesn't mean though, that they spend six months with no sexual encounter. They probably either practice self love or utilise the services of the ladies whom I refer to as either 'New Kingston Neighbourhood Watch' or 'Backroad Adult Entertainment Consultants'. With those ladies the men who patronise enjoy sex with what they see as the best kinds of 'no': No strings, no attachment, and no commitment, no need to prove their expertise, no phone calls later, no need to even know her name, etc.

I'm sure there's somebody reading this now and saying 'no; no Blakka man, nutten nuh go!' man really so cold? What you think? Tell me nuh.

box-mi-back@hotmail.com

Yes ladies, uunu know Blakka have unnu back. So as a special Christmas contribution, I'm giving you the low-down on a ploy that some stingy men have been using.