Dear Pastor,

I am seeking your advice. I have a boyfriend and he is planning to go abroad. I am concerned about our future. He refuses to give me any assurance that, after he has completed his studies, he will return to Jamaica and we will get married. I am madly in love with him and I believe he loves me too.

He said that it was too soon for him to know what will happen after he graduates, so it is not wise for me to look forward to marrying him. He is not sure if he will be ready to settle down. he cannot say he will settle down with me when he is ready. I find that hard to believe because we have been friends for a long time, and he is the only man I really love.

Imagine that this man is dumping me and I have not done him any wrong. I feel so used by him. I didn't expect him to treat me this way. I cannot sleep at nights because of what he said.

Do you think I should continue the relationship and hope for the best? Or do you think I should give him time to see whether he would consider marrying me after going abroad and missing me? Truly, I need your fatherly advice.

Madly In Love.,

Dear Madly In Love.,

This man has his plans and you are not included in them. The relationship both of you are having doesn't mean much to him. He doesn't see you as his wife. To him, you are an ordinary girlfriend. When he leaves Jamaica, he is likely to say to himself, "It was good while it lasted". He knows he plans to shut you out of his life whenever he leaves. There are other girls abroad he will date and probably marry one, then he will apologise to you for the way he has treated you.

This man is preparing you for the worst. Darling, I must tell you the truth. He has already made up his mind what he will do. So when he is leaving for abroad, don't even give him a goodbye kiss. And, please, don't go to the airport and to see him off. The best way to deal with this man is to cut him off now. I mean end the relationship with him now. He doesn't love you, so you should not allow him to use you anymore.

Pastor