Dear Pastor,

I always wonder if I was going to have a problem that I would need your help with. I have a boyfriend and we have been together for the past six months. He is the father of a child who is three years old. She was born in the States, so does her mother. My boyfriend got locked up when the baby was six months old. He was in prison for 2 1/2 years and then he got deported to Jamaica. That was the time I met him.

He is really nice to me, although he is not working. He shows me a lot of love. Whenever he can give me cash, he does, because he was saving while he was away. The problem is, his babymother wants to take the baby to see her father. She has no family in Jamaica, so the only place she can stay is at his house. He said his babymother knows that he has his girlfriend, and she is not going to stop me from coming to his house. My boyfriend is going to be at the house all day with his baby- mother until I reach home from work.

I would love if you can tell me if that is a good idea. I want him to see his baby. At one point he asked me that if I don't think he wants to see his babymother too.

Please pastor, I am waiting on your reply.

Dear E.,

You are surely not silly. You know that if the mother of this man's child will be at the house, any card can play. This man and her only separated because he was incarcerated and then deported. They did not have a fight. He was forced to return home. So, although technically they are separated, she has more claim on him than you, and darling he has told you so.

He hinted to you that he is longing to see her just as much as he is longing to see his child. This man felt that he had to tell you something, but it is not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He is going to make love to this woman because the relationship is very much alive. You need to tell him that you know that he is not a saint, and that you know that the woman and himself will have sex, so he should stop trying to fool you.

Having said the above, let me tell you that it is totally up to you whether you wish to continue the relationship. Do not be surprised if when this woman comes to Jamaica, she agrees to marry him, and hope that by doing so she will be helping him to return to the United States of America. And do not be alarmed if this man tries to convince you that by marrying her it would be good for the relationship that both of you are having, because after marrying her and he returns to America, he would divorce her and return to Jamaica and marry you.

I repeat, the relationship that this woman is having with this man is not dead, and when she comes to Jamaica there is nothing that you will be able to do to out the fire in that house.

Pastor