Dear Pastor,

When I was 19, a few months before I started college, I started an intimate relationship with a man. He was my first love. I've allowed myself to love this man even more than life. I looked beyond the tears that I cried every single night. Honestly, our first two years were great. He showed me love in abundance and so did his family. I felt like God had given me a husband. Within our third year at college, my happiness turned to tears and pain with rumours circulating that he was cheating. Even his attitude confirmed it.

Pastor, being so in experienced, I had no clue what to do. I became a miserable and emotional teenager. I believed him that it was my fault for his behaviour, and that I was pushing him away. No matter how I tried, I couldn't bring him back. Finally, I caught him with the other girl. Right then, I watched my world shattered before my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it. I left him. Shortly after, he did not hide that he and the girl were being intimate. This man had a great hold on me.

Deceived

Dear Deceived,

I am sorry to hear that your first boyfriend was not true to you. Evidently, you gave the relationship your all. As you said, you believed God had given this man to you to be your husband. However, after three years, you realised the relationship was not working because he got involved with another woman.

The truth is when two people are going together, they should realise the relationship may or may not work. There is no guarantee a couple will stick together until death separates them. This is true even if they were married. There is no guarantee they will never leave each other.

Can you imagine what this man has been telling his new girlfriend about his love for her? If she heard about you and asked him, he would tell her you are in the past and she is the one he will marry.

Never forget most men are liars. When a man wants to get under a woman's skirt, he lies his way through.

I hope you will wish this young man well and move on with your life. Perhaps, God will help you find a better man who will be faithful to you.

To this end I will pray.

Pastor