What a gwaan people? Lawd have mercy, once again, a nex' storm! Ah cudda wha so? Usually by dem time yah, di season nuh so active. Every week mi haffi a go supermarket fi hurricane food. Mi cyaan manage man. Tro.

Everybody, oonu try stay safe, an' fi di people who live kotch off pon hillside, or gully bank, please start lef oonu yard an' go ah di safety shelter dem. Please. Every hurricane an' storm oonu hear di same ting an' still stay home inna danger. Link me pon hotgalcherry@hotmail.com OR www.twitter.com/hotgalcherry OR TEXT (mi nah answer NO call) 382-2187. Suss time!

MODEL? REALLY?

Mi come fi realise say di word 'model' a straight open land ting. Everybody a moggle. Once yuh tek one pictuh, ah cudda wid one camera phone, yuh a moggle. But di real joke a when di man dem start boast say dem woman a moggle. No sah. Mi belly. Mr Producer, mi like how yuh woman a foreign always a fly out regulah, very regulah, and she say she a 'model'.

It eva occur to yuh fi really investigate wha kinda modelling she do? Woiii, mi can't manage. My yute, mi refuse fi believe say we find out say yuh woman wuk a foreign ah do erotic massage, an you nevah know all dis time. No sah. My yute, mi hope yuh a protec' yuhself, an' all ah di likkle groupie dem inna di bizniz, please fi mek di man dem wear condom because yuh nuh know who dem a sleep wid. Lawd!

CONGRATS RAINE & BUGLE

Bugle and Raine

Mad shout out to Raine and Bugle who have dem first baby few days ago. Bwoy Bugle, what a way yuh did haffi have pickney fi start attack di music and life billias. Yuh have yuh Sunday night party uppa Mango Ranch plus yuh open restaurant ova deh too. People, mi go di restaurant ova Ranch an' di food nuh bad at all. It name 'Night Chef' an open until morning fi all di partygoer dem when we get hungry an' a go home. Ah mad ting. Big up oonuself Buuuugz!

OONU AH WICKED

People, what a way 'dem' people deh a tek ovah. Everywhe yuh tun is a new one. Some piece-ah disturbing news reach me wha day yah. Mi nuh like it at aaalll. One particular female media personality get caught up inna one lesbian scandal.

According to a woman, who me go call a victim, she wuk as a helper an' har boss carry her go one place one day. When she reach ah di place, a some more uptown woman in deh, including the media personality. Di female boss, say is eida she sleep wid dem or loose har wuk. If dat ah nuh di heights a wickedness mi nuh know wha fi say again.

Is one ting fi have yuh sexual preference, but is a totally different ting when yuh go victimise people an' drag dem inna oonu lifestyle. If people poor, an decide fi wuk, why oonu nuh low di people dem? Oonu nuh want dem start tief an' massacre, so why oonu nuh lef dem when dem decide fi honest an' do a likkle wuk no mattah how small? Have mercy man. Mi disgusted, buckkk. Oonu a wicked.

REALLY NOW BUSY

People, oonu memba di Busy Signal and him baby madda drama wha di mek it to di media wha day yah. One paternity test an' pure tings haffi run, den court fi child support, fi she get one likkle pittance money? Well people, allegedly, Busy say him want sole custody ah di pickney now. Sinting can go so?

Massive, allegedly, couple weeks ago di pickney did sick an' di modda carry di baby go hospital, him, allegedly ah cuss di modda a say if she couldn't carry di pickney go one cheap hospital. A pure expensive hospital she waah carry di pickney go. No sah. Mi refuse fi believe such a statement did mek. Refuse. Cause if yuh a smaddy father, mi ah assume say yuh want yuh pickney get the best care possible. Now, me hear say him want di pickney.

Allegedly, of course. Busy if sinting go so, wha yuh need fi do ah start go hard inna music again. Mi nuh know ah wha yuh ah study rouna yuh new management? No sah. If money did a flood een, dat alleged statement bout cheap hospital wouldn't mek. People mi nuh know if ah because ah di rumour say she an' Kartel allegedly deh. Mi nuh know if ah dat him heart a bleed ovah. Lawd have mercy. Tek di case. Mi cyaan manage!

BEFORE MI FIGGET ...

Vybz Kartel

Kartel, yuh knooow say mi rate some a yuh music, but mi have one smaaaaall request. Yuh can please mek yuh baby modda, Shorty stop bleach please. When she start look like white paint wid blue face vein, yuh haffi jus tek a stand an say oonu need fi go Bleachers Anonymous or Bleachers R Us, or summen. My gawd man. Oonu face soon jump off an' start march roun' Gaza an' Kingston wid "WE WANT JUSTICE" sign. Have mercy man.

FINALLY OUTTA DI CLOSET

What a waaaaaay di designer finally come outta di closet! Mi notice pon him Facebook, him click 'like' to some bag a gay magazine and site. What a waaaaaay yuh recent facebook status bout "I'm Out" nearly mek mi drop right offa mi chair.

But di real funny ting, a when yuh next male 'fren' say, "We know this." Mi nearly choke! No sah. Mi cyaan manage. Man a call nex' man "fierce" and "diva". WHA? An' dem likkle rubber looking bracelet sum'n deh, me know wha it mean. Mi notice fi yuh own TUN UP. It almost reach yuh elbow. Tek time fren. Tek time.

Massive, latah!