DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, PO BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. TELEPHONE: 929-1667/8 EMAIL PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM

Dear Pastor,

I am in love with a woman and she has a way of going out on weekends but not taking me with her. I love this woman so much. We met in the country at a function and I came to live with her. She has her own home.

Every time we have sex, she is calling a different man's name. When I tell her she is always calling someone's name, she said is not true. But I know she is cheating. I am not working and I come from rural Jamaica, and where I come from nothing is happening there for me so I can't go back.

Sometimes I feel like a yard boy because I have to do everything for her, including washing, cleaning and cooking. When she is vexed with me, she calls me names. But one thing good about her is that she always gives me money on weekends and she buys me nice clothes. She goes abroad and when she is away she doesn't call me. When I asked her why, she said she doesn't want to use her phone abroad because it is so expensive.

cousins

No man comes to the house, except when her friends come to pick her up on weekends, so I am left confused. I don't know what to think of the situation. She is 20 years older than I and people think that we are cousins. What do you think I should do?

S.D.,

Dear S.D.,

By now you have come to realise that you are everything to this woman. You are her male helper and her sex partner. You are doing everything that her helper would do during the day and at night you give her sexual satisfaction. You say this woman is twice your age and that during the sexual act she usually calls the names of different men. Perhaps, these are men with whom she had gone to bed. And whatever you are doing to her causes her to think that you are one of them.

You are going to have to decide whether you are going to stay with this woman. You are a young man and you don't have any education. Perhaps you should discuss your future with her. Tell her you want to go back to school and you need her help.

What I am trying to tell you is that you should think about your future. Any day you do not carry out the wishes of this woman, she may ask you to leave. So try and get some training in the field of your choice so that you will not have to rely on this woman or anybody else for support. Don't waste your time and don't allow this woman to use you, because that is what is happening now.

Pastor