Greetings to you in Jesus's name. I am glad I can write to you. I am a returning resident. My wife is still living abroad. She is not ready to come, but she visits. The last time she was here, she got a woman to look after the house, prepare meals and take care of my clothes etc. The neighbours have it that I am with this woman. They told my wife we are lovers. I am very upset about it because my wife believes what people are saying.

My wife called the lady and told her she is giving her two weeks notice to leave. because I told the lady she should not, my wife told me it is between her and the lady. Pastor, I have been married for 45 years, I never cheated on my wife and my neighbours are going to cause us to break up. When she accused me. I felt it so much I used expletive to my wife.

If I allow this lady to go, I will have to get somebody else to take care of the house and me. I am in my church so I don't allow the lady to sleep over and they are still calling my name. Please, give me your advice.

A.F., Jamaica

Dear A.F.,

I am sorry to hear your wife and yourself are having problems. I wish your wife would just come home and both of you could live harmoniously. What you have to remember is people will always talk. They don't always speak the truth, but one cannot stop people from talking about things they are not sure about. Your neighbours see this woman in and out of your house, so they think you are having an affair with her. They don't have to see you and the woman in bed to make a judgement. Sometimes if people see a girl riding in a man's car a couple times, they accuse him of having an affair with her, which is not always true. People will talk.

Although you know you are not having an affair with this woman, perhaps you should terminate her employment. I am sure you wouldn't want your wife to believe you have chosen this woman over her. I also suggest you apologise to your wife for using expletives to her. Remind her somebody has to take care of the house and, if this woman goes, you would have to have another housekeeper.

I would further suggest you encourage relatives to call you every morning to make sure you are ok. As a senior citizen and living alone, it is wise to have relatives and your church brethren to check on you every day.

Pastor