Dear Pastor,

Greetings. I am writing to you with a heavy and confused heart and mind. I migrated to Canada to be with my Canadian wife. I returned to Jamaica earlier this year and had a one-night stand with my ex-girlfriend. My wife found out after I returned to Canada. I was confused. I am a stubborn person.

I lied and said I was innocent and did not have sex with my ex-girlfriend. So I packed my things and left the house. Days later, I tried on numerous times to talk to her to discuss our marriage. She refused to talk to me. Months later, she filed for divorce. Now the divorce is final.

love of my life

The problem is, I do not seem to be able to get over her. She is the love of my life but she thinks I did not love her. Otherwise, I would not have cheated on her. I got with another woman in the hope it would help me get over her, but I cannot.

Do you think that even though we are divorced, there is any hope we may one day be together again? People do make mistakes, and this is my honest mistake. We have never talked about what I did because she refuses to hear what I have to say or talk to me. Should I send her an email outlining what happened? I thought about doing so, but decided against it because I think she will share it with all her family members and friends. I have never admitted to what I did. I love her and would do anything to get her back. I need your advice, please.

A. J., Canada

Dear A.J.,

Nothing you do now will cause your ex-wife to come back to you. You blew it.

When you cheated and your wife found out and questioned you about it and you denied it, you should have remained in the matrimonial home. By leaving, you gave her the impression you did not care and she could do whatever she wanted to.

It is too late now to write and explain to her what has happened. However, you do not have to take my suggestion. Even if this woman would reconsider the decision she made, you would have to give her time. She is angry and feels you have disrespected her. Therefore, you should be punished.

I know you have learned much from your mistake. Walk carefully.

Pastor