Dear Pastor,

I am writing you again because I still have a problem. I am happily married to a wonderful man, but I still think about my ex-boyfriend. Since I wrote to you last, I have not communicated with my ex-boyfriend but that does not stop me from thinking about him and wondering if he still has feelings for me. I do not know how to get him out of my head and move on to a successful relationship with my husband. Sometimes I think I am cheating by the way I think about my ex and feel really guilty because I know my husband does not deserve it.

How can I get over this and does God shun me for my thoughts? Please, I need your advice.

Ashamed and Bothered

Dear Ashamed and Bothered,

You would not suddenly stop thinking about your ex- boyfriend. He would come to your mind from time to time, especially on special occasions or holidays. You remember he used to take you out on these special days. You may meet some of the people he introduced you to and they may even ask about him. However, you will have to learn to live without him and to move on with your life.

If you are haunted by thoughts of this man, although you are married and love your husband, you need to see a psychologist because he should not occupy your mind. Psychologists believe one of the ways to get over an old boyfriend or girlfriend is to think about something else. You should be kept busy doing something. You have a husband so he should occupy your mind instead of the ex- boyfriend.

Spend some time in the gym; keep yourself fit; develop a new hobby; do some social work; or go back to school. But spend lots of time with your husband.

Pastor