Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old female who is going through a confusing and frustrating time in my life. I was in a relationship for a couple months. I spent a lot of time with the man, had great feelings for him and thought he felt the same about me. This caused me to become really attached to this man but, during the relationship, he started to act strange.

He went overseas twice per month and told me he was doing some business over there with his family, but my instincts kept telling me he was lying. The last time he went overseas, he came back with a wedding band and swore he was not married when I confronted him about it. A week passed and he began to say we should just be friends, because he was going to leave the island permanently and was going to attend a university overseas. We argued and the relationship just crashed.

I feel so hurt and used and my head feels so crowded. I have to go back to school but I don't think I will be able to cope.

Pastor, how am I going to get over this? Please, help.

P., Manchester, Jamaica

Dear P.,

This man is heartless. He has no love in his heart for you. He knew all along he had another woman in the US and was planning to live and attend university there. He kept you in the dark while, at the same time, he was giving you the impression all was well between the both of you. He is a very wicked man.

You will get over him. It may take a long time because, emotionally, you are suffering but you will go through the thrashing this man has given to you. He is a two-footed beast and will meet his Waterloo because you have done him no wrong.

I repeat, you will get over him. The way to begin healing is to forgive him. That may seem hard at the moment, but may God grant you grace to do so. You are much better than this man. He does not deserve you. That is the way you have to look at it, then I want you to bury him.

Consider him dead. Say exactly what the pastor says over a dead person at a funeral, "Dust to dust, ashes to ashes". In your mind, leave him at Meadowrest or Dovecot, or any cemetery near to you.

Concerning you schooling, you must go back to university. If you follow the suggestion I have made, you should go back to school and do well. Stop crying over him and don't ask him to come back into your life. If you do, he would just use you further.

Pastor