Dear Pastor,

I have been married for 3 1/2 years and I cannot get pregnant. I have been to many doctors and done a lot of tests and I was told that everything is ok. I should just relax. I want to get pregnant because I have always wanted to be a mother and my husband and I can support a child.

My husband has a child with another woman. I love the child but I want one to call my own. My two sisters are married and have children. I am wondering if I am cursed.

Why is it that I cannot get pregnant, pastor?

T.R., St. Catherine

Dear T. R.,

Three and a half years of trying to become pregnant is a long time if everything is ok. However, it is not unusual for a woman to take years before getting pregnant. I know a couple who waited for 12 years before they had their first child. And they eventually became the proud parents of three children.

I have a friend who was told by his doctor that his wife would never become pregnant, so they adopted a baby boy. They were proud of their adopted son. A few months after the adoption his wife became pregnant.

It is said that about 90 per cent of married women will get pregnant within a year. But age is a factor. Older women (over 35) may take longer to get pregnant. And men who are over 40 may experience difficulty in impregnating their wives.

Your doctor told you that everything is ok, but did he/she discuss with you when you are more likely to get pregnant? It is much more than having sex. Talk to him/her about your cycle and ovulation etc.

Perhaps I ought to know you have done so, but I mentioned that nevertheless.

Pastor