Dear Pastor,

Times are always hard because nothing comes easy. With self-sacrifice we can manage the hard times. We need to decide what our wants are from our needs. The material things are not so important especially when you cannot afford them. A roof over your head, food and clothes are the most important for a family to survive. We have to leave the neighbours alone and not envy them. Most times that is what gets us into situations that we cannot handle.

The hair and nails are not what will make us feel better, but we think that is what men want to be interested in women. I am a plain Jane and very happy to be one. I lead by example for six children. I model what I want them to do. Now they are adults and I see they are nice looking plain Janes and John. I am a saver and when I saw how much money was made in one year to the next, I took control of my husband's bank account when he could not explain where the money went. Our life started to come together after that and 28 years later we live the same way as plain Jane and John.

My dad left my mom in a house with three children and my mother had to cut one orange in three to feed us girls. We lived in the Kingston 11 area. We had an ackee tree, guinep, breadfruit, coconut, mango and soursop. We did not have cash, but I cannot remember us going hungry. I was the youngest of three girls so I got a lot of hand-me-downs. We were always clean. I did see my mom cry many times, but did not know why. I now know it was because she felt like she was bounded to that life forever. We coped and I realised that because of that I am a better person today.

I would like to hear a discussion on the topic. What kind of woman does a man want - a plain Jane or a Miss Bling Bling? A real woman or a fake one with fake hair, nails and breasts.

Take care. Good programme as usual. God bless you.

Plain Jane, Jamaica

Dear Plain Jane,

You might have had life difficult as a young woman, but you have done well and you have been a good example to your children. Younger women can learn from you. Continue to be a good mother and a good example to others.

Pastor