Dear Pastor,

I have been married, for a few years now, to a wonderful man. He treats me well and provides for me and our children. I love him very much and I know that he loves me. He tells me he loves me everyday and he shows me he loves me by the kind things that he does. He is truly a gentleman who was in the raised right way by his mother.

The problem is, recently I went back to Jamaica and was reunited with an ex I had a long time ago. A lot of feelings came back that seemed to be overwhelming. We spent a lot of time together and I was sad when I had to leave him. I was happy to go back home to my husband, but, at the same time, sad to leave my first love.

My ex and I still communicate and I still think about him. When I was in Jamaica, we didn't do anything to defile my marriage, but I did kiss him. He knows I am married and I am not going to leave my husband, but he still cares about me and says if he could turn back the hands of time, there would be things he would do differently.

I love my husband. I am not leaving him. But, I have some feelings for another man. I know it is wrong. This is something I cannot speak about to anyone except you. I really just want the feelings I have for my ex to go, so I can live a happy and normal life with my husband and children.

L.A., Canada

Dear L.A.,

You kissed your old boyfriend. The next time it may go beyond a kiss because the desire to be with him is getting stronger.

You cannot have it both ways, Madam. It is either your old boyfriend or your husband. You cannot want the feelings for your ex-boyfriend to go away when, at the same time, you are stirring up the feelings by communicating with him and spending quality time with him in Jamaica.

Who are you fooling? It must be yourself. You can bring this relationship to an end by cutting all ties with him and considering him dead to you. If you really love your husband, do just that.

Pastor