I have a serious problem and I am hoping you can give me some good advice. am a 33-year-old man who is in love with this 24-year-old woman with whom I have two kids. We have known each other for more than seven years. At one point we had a good relationship, but I messed everything up by cheating and staying out late at nights. I also told her numerous lies.

For the last three years, we have been separated. We still stay in contact with each other and we also see each other. She lives in St James. I love this woman with all my heart and she tells me she loves me too. For the last three years I have been doing everything possible to show her I have changed and I am a better man. But she keeps putting me down even though she says she loves me. She keeps bringing up the past.

turned me down

I even asked her to marry me and she turned me down. I don't know what else to do. I want our kids to have what we never had, a stable home with a mother and a father. I have told her how sorry I am more times than I can remember, and I am telling her again, "Shay, I am sorry for all the pain that I have caused you; and for all the wrongs that I have done to you, I apologise."

I really do love her, but I am getting discouraged. I don't want to lose my family, so Pastor, can you please help me? I am begging you to talk to her for me. I have sent you her numbers in the letter, but I know you will not publish that section. Thank you.

M.S., St. James, Jamaica

Dear M.S.,

I want to let you know a woman can love a man until she dies, but that does not mean that because she loves him she would want him as her husband, especially if that man did not treat her well when they were going together or living together. I don't doubt you might have turned away from your foolish ways, but it might be too late. When some women say they are finished with their man, they mean they are finished! They mean, "done, done, done!"

I am not going to call this young woman and beg her to come back to you. No, sir, I don't know a thing about you, apart from what you have told me in your letter. Both of you have been in touch with each other and I don't see why I should get involved. Of course, I will see both of you if you make an appointment to see me. But, for me to call her and plead on your behalf, no, sir.

See to it that you support your children. Sometimes a man has to take his beating because he has played the fool. It seems to me that is what is happening to you right now. You are getting a flogging and your back is sore.

Pastor