Dear Pastor,

I love your show and I read your column whenever I get the chance. I am torn apart and sad. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Within those years, he has been living a life of lies. He drives a taxi. At first, I didn't like him, but my friend gave him my number and he kept on calling, so I gave in to him.

Things were good at first, but then girls kept calling my phone telling me to leave their man alone. I tried to let go, but he kept persuading me to stay, saying they are just jealous of us. So, we kept on seeing each other. A few months into the relationship, I found out that he got a girl pregnant. I asked him about it, but he said it was a lie. Although he said it was a lie, when the girl was due to give birth, he always took things for her to the hospital. I accompanied him on a few occasions. He said she was his friend's child's mother and he was just doing him a favour.

One night the baby was ill and he took some money to give to the mother at the hospital. I heard when the girl's mother asked him if he can't stay for a few minutes with the baby; he got upset and told her he was working and drove off. We had an argument about it. He said he didn't want to lose me and that is why he lied. He also said they are no longer together. I gave him another chance, but not before he promised to be there for the baby. We later found out the baby was not his and we moved on.

always there for me

He has always been there for me financially. He has helped me through school and also when I was studying abroad. He was there for my mom too. Even when she took her last breath, he was there.

After I completed school and came back, I moved in with him. Things were good for a while, until he wasn't able to answer his phone around me and he started getting texts and calls late at nights. I read the text messages and they broke my heart. I cried constantly. When I asked him about it, his response was that he does not know what I'm talking about, yet the texts are there to show.

A few months ago, I broke up with him. He called me more than 50 times for the day but I ignored the calls. It started to annoy me so much that I turned off my phone. When I turned it back on, I saw a few missed calls from his mother, his sister and him. I then decided to answer his call because I thought that maybe something bad may have happened. The man started to cry his soul out and with that, he asked me to marry him. I told him no, I would not marry him as he will never change and I don't trust him anymore. He then asked me to come and visit him and allow him to explain everything. Until this very day, he has not said anything and he has not changed.

He has a girlfriend at one of the universities in Kingston. He also has one that does his laundry too. He then turns around and tells his friends that I have not done anything for him. He seemed to have forgotten when he was in debt, I am the one he saw and when he had bills to be paid, I did it for him. He didn't have to ask me for anything, because I made sure he was okay. But, yet he says I am ungrateful.

it is over for good

Very recently, I told him it is over for good. I am now home. Sometimes, I want to beat myself for being so stupid. Even my friends say I should let it go and I am going to try.

I don't want his ring. I know he is going to realise what he has lost but it is going to be too late. I would still appreciate your advice or any comments you may want to give.

A. M., Portland, Jamaica

Dear A.M.,

It is very unfortunate this man played the fool and caused the relationship between both of you to be destroyed. He was good to you for a long time. He sent you to school and supported you, and he assisted your mother. But, on the other hand, he took you for granted and caused other women to disrespect you. He was not truthful.

I believe you made the correct decision to move on without him. However, if this man finds himself in a crisis, at any time, and you can help, do so, with no strings attached. I say that because you should never forget that he was good to you when you were in need. But, I could never encourage you to marry him. To do so, would be to bring extra stress on yourself and to live a life of unhappiness.

Pastor