Dear Pastor,

I have been in love with my boyfriend since I was 19 years old. I will be 23 soon. In the early stages of our relationship, I found out that he was involved with someone else while we were dating. The relationship he had with the other female ended and we remained together. I forgave him because I believe in forgiveness and I love him.

However, my problem with him has always been time. He hardly spends any time with me and blames it on his work and his child. We broke up a couple of times and got back together. I am completely faithful to him and I try to treat him fairly so that he is not uncomfortable or unhappy. All I ask of him is that he makes some time for me. I see him for only one night and some hours in one month sometimes. At times I feel lonely and stressed out, I really would love for him to be where I am, but I know he would tell me that he is busy, and 80 per cent of the time he doesn't answer the phone.

it's "complicated"

His phone does not have very good reception in his house, so I asked him why it is that he cannot step outside to speak to me. His response was that the reception isn't that good on the outside either. He is on one of the popular websites and guess what - the section that asks you for your relationship status, he has as his status: complicated. I asked him about that because I do my best to make him comfortable. He said the reason he used that word is because I keep leaving him and coming back.

He said that he loves me and when it comes to taking care of me financially, he does that. He takes an interest in my schooling. But, whenever I try to talk to him about my unhappiness, he tells me that I am selfish and don't know what he is going through. When I ask him, 'What are you going through?' he then says, it is his stress and he will deal with it. I am so confused at times.

I want to leave him because I think he is lying and he doesn't care, but in the next breath, I really want to stay. Please help me. Thank you.

L.D.

Dear L.D.,

Whether you go or stay in this relationship, is a decision you will have to make on your own. I know for sure that no man can be so busy that he cannot make time to see his woman, especially if they are in the same parish or country. On the other hand, some jobs are very demanding, and the man's time is limited for recreation, etc.

But, you should be able to communicate with your boyfriend at any time. You should know exactly what is happening in his life and his whereabouts.

he is lying

If a man is always making excuses for not seeing his woman, he is lying. If he is always turning off his phone and saying that the reception is bad, he is lying. He can call when he is in an area that has good reception.

You are very fortunate that he is helping you financially. I repeat, only you should decide whether you will continue in this relationship or move on. I wish you well.

Pastor