Dear Pastor,

I am a young man living abroad who has a girlfriend in Jamaica. I love this girl a great deal and plan to marry her someday. The problem is that I don't trust her completely. The reason is she is not working, yet she is more than supporting herself. Her parents aren't giving her money, but she says she has a person overseas - who she said was her grandmother, yet later said was not really her grandmother, but rather a close lady friend who is like a mother to her.

She plays too friendly with certain guys that live around her way. When they were 'playing' around, she said that one of the guys with whom she is a good friend tied her to the foot of the bed. Her mother and her family want us to be together, but she moved away from them because they were pressuring her too much. The problem is I know she is very playful and caring that is why I like her but I don't know where she draws the line or if she actually is having sex with someone in Jamaica.

I trust her in a way

I trust her in a way because I know she loves me. It is just because we are apart that we are having problems. When I was at the airport and was leaving Jamaica, she cried so much to see me leave. When I was in Jamaica for two weeks, I didn't see any signs of her cheating, except for the fact that when certain people called her, her face lit up like when you are talking to somebody you really like. But I don't check her phone, so I don't really know who was calling.

When we had sex, I had problems entering her and that made me believe she hadn't been active, if you know what I mean. I also tried to break up with her before and she basically broke down, cried her heart out, and begged me to take her back.

I can't be blinded by love

I don't know what to do. Can you please tell me what you think of the situation? She is a very nice person. She goes to church. She helps out around her community. I basically feel that she is the one for me, but I can't be blinded by love. I do not want to make a decision that I may live to regret.

Please, Pastor, just give me your opinion. I just want to hear what you have to say.

M., United States

Dear M.,

I suggest that you continue the relationship with this young lady. Time will tell if she is playing around with other guys. Right now, you do not have enough reasons to believe that she is not being truthful and faithful to you.

Pastor