DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO:

TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, PO BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. TELEPHONE: 929-1667/8 EMAIL: PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM

Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old girl who attended a well-known school in St Ann. My ambition is to become a doctor or a nurse.

This is the confused story of a true teenage drama queen.

I grew up in St Mary with my grandmother until I was 13. That was when my grandmother got really sick and couldn't support me anymore. I had to go live with my aunt. My mother had been men-tally ill before and after having me. I had just found out about my dad eight months before, so I really didn't know much about him and refused to go to stay with him. He wanted me to stay with him and his wife, but I wanted to stay close to my grandmother, so I could help her when she needed me.

daughter got jealous

As time passed by, my aunt's daughter got jealous of the way my aunt treated me. She is older than I am and kept pushing me around. I couldn't take it anymore, so I took a chance to stay with my father.

Living with my father was good at first, but as time went by everyone started to show their true colours. It started when my father embarrassed me in front of visitors telling me about my mom. He told me I was going to be just like her when I grew up, eating garbage and begging money. Over a year went by and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to leave. I packed my bag and ran away not knowing where I would go. But at that moment I knew I had to leave and I did.

I ended up at one of my friends' place. It was too difficult for me to stay at my father's house. He made my brother and sisters mock me and my stepmother fed on me like a vampire. Sometimes when I left for school, I didn't want to return home, so I slept outside.

wonderful lady

Sometimes they did not give me food or lunch money. God bless a wonderful lady who helped me when I needed it. My father did so much to me, but I prefer not to mention all. They affected me to a point where I wanted to kill myself. I tried killing myself, but I was not successful. When I was 13 I ended up in the hospital because I tried to kill myself. I got raped on my 13th birthday by five guys from my community and until this day I refuse to talk about it.

One night when I was staying at my friend's house, I woke up and to my surprise it was my friend's brothers trying to rape me. I packed my bag and left.

My best friend said I could stay with her. We grew up together. She had problems in life too and had to go live with a man after she turned 14. I know what you are thinking. No, she is not bad. It is just that her mother turned her back on her and her siblings. I went to stay with her and her boyfriend. It was all good, but it was just one room and we all slept on the bed. It was a little uncomfortable, but they treated me well. I was still worried because I wanted to go to school. I was with my friend for a good while.

crazily in love

I went to live with a guy when I was 16 years old and he treated me well. I felt useful. He told me that I shone like the light from the sun. My God, he blew my heart away. I was crazily in love with him. His mom decided that she was going to send me to school in September.

Then my boyfriend changed and started to stay out. But his mother stood by me. I got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. But I don't want to stay here anymore. My lover is still the same, even worse, but I don't know what to do. I am confused. Part of me is telling me to go and another part is telling me to stay.

Pastor, please pray a special prayer for me. I don't want my son to get hurt. It is like I am getting crazy.

Confused, St Mary, Jamaica

Dear Confused,

I regret hearing that you were raped and that your mother is mentally ill. Your father ought to be ashamed of himself for the way he has treated you. He did not support you until the age of 13. You didn't even know him. It was his responsibility to find you when you were born and to treat you well, and when he had the opportunity to do so but he embarrassed you and mocked you.

I believe that God is going to help you. You are very intelligent and you are a victim of circumstance. The young man with whom you are living has not been treating you as well as before, but thank God, his mother is standing by you.

You have a baby, but perhaps what you should discuss with the child's grandmother is your desire to seek a job. Ask her whether she is prepared to take care of the baby while you go to work and school. I believe that she will gladly assist you. I can assure you of my prayers.

Pastor